- THANGS HAVE CHAAAAAANGED
- KRISTIN EBELING IS PROBABLY A CYBORG
- THE PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS ARE THE GIRL SKATERS OF THE NBA
- PMS CAN TURN YOU INTO AILEEN WOURNOS
- FISHING BOATS ARE DANK- IN A BAD WAY
- WE NEED TO QUIT OUR JOBS ASAP
- GIFS MAKE YOU POPULAR
- BILLY RAY IS OK!
- EUROPEAN STYLE HOTELS ARE PURE CLASS
- MICRO DOSE = GATEWAY TO MACRO DOSE
Wheels of Fortune is a serious juggernaut. I started going to this event 10 years ago, when it was a small gathering. Just the homies pretty much; a great excuse to get together, shred, see old friends and test your fate in Seattle’s fucked up traffic.
But nowadays, the shit ain’t no EXCUSE. Last year Thrasher leveled up. THIS year, the good folks at Skate Like a Girl somehow pulled off what is now known as “The Lalapalooza of Female Skateboarding.” Four days of babes, karaoke, hard wheels, Coors Light™, (NBA playoffs,) photos, GIFS, parties and Lil’ Nas X’s “Old Town Road.”
A FEW HIGHLIGHTS:
- Kristin Ebeling. Look “champion” up in the dictionary, you’ll see a picture of her. The amount of shit she does for female (and all) skateboarders is crazy. When we arrived to Seattle we went to a barbecue and there she was, hunting down toilet paper to keep the ladies comfortable down there. Leave it to Ebelinger to be totally on top of everything. No better person to trust with your vagina wellness. KEBS 4 PREZ!
- Onewheel might be the norm core shred-mobile of the future. It’s that thing that’s like a board with one big wheel in the center. If you live in a big city, you might see some suits downtown commuting like crazy on them. Someone brought one as a gag, (assuming) and everyone was chugging beers & riding it around, smiling and laughing. Fun is fun.
- BUY OUR .GIFS, HELP FUND THIS FUCKER! Some weeks before this event I was texting with Kebeling, inquiring what I could do to help in the WOFX planning effort. I had .gif’d in the past, but never tried to make instagram “.gif stickers” but thought I’d give it a shot for the homies. Long story short, the BIGFOOT laboratory produced more than a dozen custom SLAG/WOF .gif stickers, all searchable with the hashtag #skatelikeagirl. EVERYONE WAS GOING APE. Despite sneaking off to dark bars with wifi and Coors Light™ several times, we couldn’t keep up with the demand. SO now we are in the GIF-giving biz. Three searchable .gifs for $100. All proceeds go to our beer tab. Hit us up at firstname.lastname@example.org 😛
- Trigger fingers. You often hear stories about trauma taking effect years later, when victims finally actualize their experiences. Ask me how many times I got literally punched in the face by redneck dudes in Southern Oregon 15 years ago… (spoiler alert.. more than once!) So thankful for this generation and its inclusive values. AMT Lyfe rules! (after me too)